Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9
This past week has been hard. Okay, I exaggerated. It was really hard. That’s still an understatement. I have felt trapped, discouraged, overwhelmed, confused…are there any more words I could use? I told Ian I wanted to retire as a mom. I’m not sure you can even do that, but I am sure if you could, I am no where near that point. I’ve only just begun.
That thought scares me at times. It sends me into a panic. I want to just run away and hide from these two kids, but then I think about how crazy in love I am with them and I can’t leave them. What’s a tired and confused mama to do.
Then on Easter Sunday in the midst of trying to sit through a service with a fussy baby and wiggly toddler, God sent a little reminder.
I was going through the motions of a Resurrection Celebration service, not really feeling the joy that seemed to surrounding me. I felt numb and at times angry as we were asked to stand one more time and clap for one more song, all the while Bridget got more and more fussy because she just wanted to fall asleep, but everyone else’s “joyful noise” was preventing it.
Then they started baptisms. One after another people came forward. Wearing the “washed away” tee-shirt and looking excited and solemn at the same time. A young girl stepped up and headed toward the small pool. Her father was the pastor preforming the baptism and I could see the emotions on his face as she walked toward him. He shared a few words with her before he lowed her gently under the water. As she came up, he embraced her in his arms. It was a beautiful sight.
As I held my little girl, I was reminded of what I am being called to do. I am these children’s mother. Ian and I have been called to teach them and train them and to lead them to Jesus. My mind went to a future scene that I pray for, where Ian can baptize our children as they publicly declare their devotion to Christ. What a beautiful gift.
I saw the love in the earthly father’s eyes as he baptized his daughter and could not help but think about our Heavenly Father who loves us even more.
Life is hard right now. I am weary. But I am trying to remember the promise of the harvest if I continue, with the Lord’s always needed help, to do what He has called me to do.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6